Harry Potter and the Yaoi Doujinshi
by Shiny Ryuichi Sakuma
Summary: SLASH!! Harry discovers a certain object involving himself, Draco, and fuzzy handcuffs?! Ideas, realisations, and triangles ensue!
1. Draco x Ron x Harry, OH MY!

Title: Harry Potter and the Yaoi Doujinshi  
  
warnings: boy x boy love  
  
disclaimers: not mine  
  
summary: Harry discovers a certain object involving himself, Draco, and fuzzy handcuffs?! Ideas, realisations, and angst ensue!  
  
pairings: Harry/Draco, Harry/Ron, Ron/Draco, Sirius/Remus, Sirius/Severus, Remus/Severus  
  
Ending couples: Harry/? (Either Draco/Harry, Ron/Harry, Draco/Ron/Harry) Sirius/Remus/Severus  
  
NOTES: I'm taking a POLL for the next few chapters to see who the ending Harry/? couple is. Please leave a review and tell me who he should be with. ^-^  
  
Chapter 1~ Paravati and Lavendar's stash of Doujin  
  
Something very strange was going on. Yes, it had to be extremely secretive. Harry Potter darted wary glances at a few giggling girls in the Gryffindor Common Room. Parvati and Lavendar especially. The two girls were huddled close together on one of the huge armchairs, snickering and passing star- filled gazes towards Harry. The Boy Who Lived self-conciously smoothed the folds in his clothes, going to join Ron and Seamus at the chess board.  
  
Ron looked up boredly, barely and interest flickering on his freckled face. Harry knew why. Seamus wasn't a challenge at all to Ron; Harry was twice as good as the Irish boy and yet Harry was usually whooped in a game of wizard's chess by the red haired wonder in a matter of minutes. "Girls are insane," he nodded towards Parvati and Lavendar.  
  
"You noticed too? They keep staring at me oddly."  
  
"Checkmate," Ron stated flatly to a disgruntled Seamus. The boy laughed good naturedly, stretching his arms behind his head. Ron refixed the pieces and gave Harry his undivided attention. "I tried asking Herm about it earlier but she blushes everytime I do so...it must be a 'girl' thing."  
  
"Your making us sound twelve," Seamus piped, smiling vividly at Ron who scowled. "We're sixteen and so are the girls. I think its safe to say their discussing something incredibly naughty. Care to find out, you blokes?"  
  
Ron and Harry shared a shrug, joining Seamus. Parvati spied the trio coming and hastily stowed whatever was occupying her to underneath her butt. She grinned charmingly, poking Lavendar in the ribs with a warning glimmer to her brown eyes. "Hi guys," she said, folding her hands and placing them in her lap.  
  
"What have you two been doing?" Seamus asked, leaning forward to peer at their space.  
  
"Um, nothing. Oh, look at the time. Lets go," Lavendar tucked the-appeared to be a comic book-underneath her shirt, grabbed Parvati's hand and pulled her towards the girls dormitories.  
  
Ron, Seamus and Harry raised confused brows, going to their own chambers. Harry was puzzled. What was so embarrassing about a comic book? Harry had seen Spider-man, X-men, and those of Dudley's at times and there was only really violence in them. It was befuddling.  
  
Seamus climbed into his bed and was immediately asleep, his snores joining Neville's. Ron and Harry remained awake and on Harry's bed. "Well, do you want to check out the girls room to see what their hiding?" Ron asked, pointing at the Invisibility Cloak.  
  
"I dont know Ron, what if we were caught? We'd never live it down."  
  
"Lets not stay here and think about it. Are we going or not?"  
  
"...Alright Ron but if Hermione catches us, your the one who's going to catch the blame because I refuse to listen to her banter." Harry draped the precious Cloak across him and Ron, shrouding them from view. Harry smiled wanly at Ron, letting the hazel eyed boy take the lead. They eased into the Common Room quietly so as to not disturb a group of studying third years. Tiptoeing to the sixth year girls rooms, Ron hesitantly opened the door.  
  
The girls were asleep. Harry squinted in the dark, looking for the comic book. There....it was there! Harry dragged Ron to the beside table of Lavendar's. He reached forward, snatched the comic book. Lavendar emitted a tiny protest in her sleep before rolling onto her side. Harry calmed his racing heart, hastily exiting with Ron in tow. They ran to their dorm room, flung the Cloak off, jumped onto Harry's bed, shut the curtains, placed a Silencing Charm, and made light appear.  
  
Ron and Harry exchanged anticipating glances. It was time to reveal what was possessing the girls to act wierd..well wierder than normal. With bated breath, they brought the book into light. Harry cocked his head to the side, reading the strange words. "Yaoi Doujinshi?" He frowned at Ron.  
  
"Dont look at me. I haven't heard of anything like that."  
  
"What do you think it is?" Harry prodded the cover.  
  
Ron sighed exasperately. "Just open the damn thing and find out!"  
  
Harry turned the page and peered at the innocently drawn people. He smiled at Ron. "That looks like me," he tapped a scruffy headed, specaled boy with a lightning bolt scar. "Mmm, do you think it is?" It resembled him greatly, that was for sure.  
  
"Yeah...I think it is. Wow, you have your on comic book Harry!" Ron said exictedly. "I wonder if I'm in here too?"  
  
Harry skimmed the first page, focusing in on a freckled face of his best friend. "Yep! There's you!" Harry laughed. "I can't believe that my fans would make a comic book of me. I wish I knew what the words said. Do you know what language it is?"  
  
".....Japanese or Chinese. Can't tell. Come on, turn it. Damn, I wish the pictures moved."  
  
Harry went on to page two, the scene was still in the Common Room of their Gryffindor lounge. Ron and Harry were sitting on one of the couches, apparently talking. "This sucks. I'm going to skip ahead a few pages." He did just that, going to page seven. A pointed chin gave the boy in the section away.  
  
"Malfoy? Urgh, why the hell would someone but that git in your comic book?"  
  
Harry didnt have an answer. Instead, he blinked rapidly at what was in Draco's hands. "Ron, are those cuffs?" Ron let out a hmmed sound in agreement. The drawn Draco was holding a pair of...leopared skinned handcuffs. The next page caused Harry to blush rather darkly, feeling his stomach tighten at the sheer eroticness of his poise. The animated Harry was lounging on..on a desk?! His robes were half way torn, flesh visible.  
  
Ron was growing worried and he wanted to return the book immediately but he couldn't help his curiosity. He gnawed his lip, noting that Harry was looking increasingly ill. The page flipped, both boys giving a strangled yelp. The drawn Harry was fully naked and incredibly aroused. Draco was standing with the cuffs dangling from his fingers, smirking in the way that gritted everyone's nerves.  
  
Harry's face was burning with embarassment. What the hell had he discovered?! He wasn't entirely ignorant to sex and in the comic book, he was hot and horny for Draco Malfoy. Why in the name of every god in every culture did someone draw THAT?! Harry noticed there was a hand on the Draco's shoulder... Someone else was in the room with the needy Harry and dominatrix Draco.  
  
Ron wanted to die. Okay, this was so wrong. It was disgusting. Harry wasn't gay, was he? How had these people got the idea that Harry was gay and lusting after Malfoy? But....at least it was Harry and not Ron, right?  
  
He spoke to soon. Next page showed Ron, naked as the day he was born and as aroused as watching a porn, standing with his hand on Draco's shoulder. Ron wanted to scream and yell and throw a temper tantrum. What sick and perverted person would do this?!  
  
Oh gods....Harry felt his whole body go bright pink at the erotic imagery. How the hell could this entire scene work out? Ron and Harry hated Draco. The cuffs were snapped onto sketched Harry's wrists, his arms above his head. Then, the book was slammed. Harry started, meeting Ron's wild eyes. "Um...hi?" he tried but merely recieved a sputtered attempt at talk.  
  
Finally, Ron found his voice. "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!" he bellowed, his entire body quivering with revulsion? Arousal? "Someone drew us like that! With Malfoy! I swear, I'm going to kill those girls! Their reading this smut!" He jestured wildly to the comic.  
  
"Calm down Ron!" Harry hissed.  
  
"CALM DOWN?!!!!!" Ron screeched. "Someone drew us having sex with Malfoy! With you being cuffed! That doesnt bother you at all?!"  
  
"Of course it bothers me," he said but his voice wasn't all THAT convincing. "We'll talk about this in the morning and confront Parvati and Lavendar, alright? Just....get some sleep."  
  
"Fine. Night Harry."  
  
"Goodnight Ron."  
  
Both boys lay awake until slumber engulphed their senses. But....their dreams were shrouded by fuzzy handcuffs, Draco with a whip and in leather, and of course, loads of sex.  
  
~ * ~* ~*  
  
OMG! I cant believe I just did that!!! #_#  
  
Next chapter: Ron and Harry confront Lavendar and Parvati...heh heh.....and they discover the Sirius/Severus doujin! @_@ 


	2. Sirius and Severus are doing WHAT!

disclaimers: not mine, none of the trademarked things are either.  
  
warnings: boy x boy love  
  
notes: Couples: (because I'm one pervy girl) Severus/Remus/Sirius, Ron/Draco/Harry. By the way, I make a pretty stupid attempt at spoofing those who dont want us to like yaoi, lol. Like that entire law suit thing. You'll see what I"m talking about. So if I insult anyone who likes yaoi (that would include myself) I'm doing it to intimidate the bigots. I do make fun of posers and superficial girls so if your one of them, sorry!  
  
Translations: tachi (and company)  
  
Chapter 2- Severus and Sirius do WHAT?!!!  
  
Evil Parvati snickered at her sidekick Dastardly Villanious Lavendar. The two girls had discovered that one of their various and assorted doujinshi's were missing! Oh, what a horrid discovery! Parvati smirked as she and Lavendar went downstairs to the Common Room, a doujinshi edge coveniently showing from underneath the folds of a notebook. The darker haired girl was in high spirits, her plan to get the boys into one huge orgy just steps closer to being achieved. Parvati smiled ferally, peeking at two parts of the soon-to-be menage a trois.  
  
Ron and Harry were looking worse for the wear. Their eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep, black bags were quite unbecoming, and their hair's were seemingly more touseled. Hermione shot the two girls a knowing nod, trying her best not to giggle and point at the oblivious Harry and Ron. Lavander and Parvati joined Hermione, laughing silently at the terrror filled glances Ron and Harry sent one another. Ah, the wonders of smut-filled doujinshi! It was enough to make a girl cry.  
  
The Great Hall was loud with bursting adolescents, the delicious aroma of sustenance wafting on the air. Parvati-tachi settled into their respective seats, each girl grinning from ear-to-ear at the resident boys. Seamus, Dean, and Neville sweatdropped at the conniving, evil girls. Yes, they all knew something was going on but with a little bit of persuasion from the girls, they were to be quiet. Besides, Parvati allowed Seamus access to the collection of doujinshi.  
  
Parvati leaned close to Seamus, another one of her plans being set into motion. "Have you talked to Justin yet? I know your dieing to use some of those positions in the Gravitation Remix number 4." Seamus rolled his eyes. Justin was his current obsession and Parvati was attempting to help Seamus into convincing Justin that women were evil creatures that needed to be stopped before their yaoi doujinshi's leaked into the entire populace and turned the world into homosexuals! They must be stopped! Their days of converting innocent boys is over! Their days of terrorizing pure girls into yaoi freaks must be halted! Oh, got carried away there...  
  
"I haven't yet. Merlin, are you trying to make him gay?"  
  
Parvati went smug. "Well of course I am Seamy. What makes you think he isn't already?" She nodded towards the sandy haired boy at the Hufflepuff table. He had more mannerisms and style than Lavendar, and that was saying loads! It was rumored, he cared more about his appearance than Draco Malfoy! A scandal!  
  
Seamus shrugged indifferently. "Just because he's pretty doesn't mean he's gay."  
  
Parvati huffed, arms going akimbo on her waist. "So Malfoy isn't gay? He's pretty too!"  
  
"Point taken."  
  
From across the room, Draco's ears turned beet red at the mention of his name and being put in the sentence with the word gay. How rude! The beautiful blond with the silver flecked slate blue eyes, with the slender and milky colored flesh, with the scrumptiously toned body that screamed sex god Eros. How come people thought he was gay? It wasn't as if it would have been a lie because he was but it went much deeper than anyone thought. His experience with the not-so-fairer-sex-when-compared-with-Draco was absolutely wretched! But, getting into that would be bad because this is a happy fiction. So, he cared about the condition his robes were in? That made him automatically gay? It wasn't as if he was manipulating little boys into hosting their own interior design shows.  
  
"Hey, Dray, do you want to slap that bitch for calling you gay?" Pansy fluttered her eyelashes and Draco resisted the urge to punch the pug in her face. This was why men turned gay. Yes, it was. Girls like Pansy were a complete insult to the entire female gender. Superficial valley girls that said like every five seconds. It sickened Draco to no end. They were posers who were on the verge of mind-controlling the pre-teens into being teeny bopper's and getting pregnant at the age of eleven just so they can be like the fake-breasted Britney Spears!  
  
"Would you shut up Pansy?" Hey, Draco was a pansy. Maybe that was why he didn't like the girl, it was an insult. Draco blinked, meeting eyes with Harry. What the hell was that git's problem? Staring at him wouldn't make him get any. Draco gulped. He did not just think that! Wanting Harry was BAD! Badbadbadbadbadbad! (too much X men Evo) Draco wanted to bang his head against the table but that would cause ugly bruises to form and ruin his perfect complexion.  
  
Harry pursed his lips, looking away from the eye contact with Draco. He couldn't stop thinking about the doujinshi lying in wait underneath his pillow so that he could have wet dreams concerning Draco every night. Though, those would have to involve Ron too. Harry squeaked. What would his friend look like aroused in real life and not drawn? Harry allowed himself the leisure to study the freckled boy next to him. He decided, watching the languid curves in Ron's body as he gesticulated with his hands, that it would be enjoyable. Harry scowled at himself. Those EVIL yaoi doujinshi. The EVIL girls who had them! It was all EVIL.  
  
Parvati-tachi rose from their seats. "We have to speak with Dean and Neville alone." Of course, that meant Lavendar would go snog Dean and Hermione would snog Neville while Parvati went to harass Justin into hating women. Parvati did the Mr.Burns impression from the Simpsons. "Excellent," she murmured to herself as she streaked to the Hufflepuff table.  
  
Harry and Ron raised a brow each, confused by the sudden disappearance of their friends. Seamus was doing his best to keep from Harry and Ron as he vainly tried to hit on any boy in sight. Harry peered at Parvati's school things. Uh-oh. Was that what he thought it was? The material peeking at him wantonly was the same in which the doujinshi he had seen lastnight was made of. Should he? He poked Ron in the side. "Its another one."  
  
Ron eeped, sliding onto the chair on the other side of Harry. He didn't want to look but it was impossible. It was calling to him. Gathering his courage, Ron opened the cover of Parvati's Divination text and was immediately deafened by a bone-curdling scream from Harry. The two turned crimson at the attention they recieved from Harry's outburst but it was definitely understandable. For on the cover of this doujinshi was Severus Snape and Sirius Black!  
  
Severus and Sirius were younger, the Marauder era ones, Harry judged. Severus was between Sirius's legs with the taller boy's arms wrapped around him from behind. It was cute, it was innocent, it was loving. The title was Sadisuto Yariman. What could that have meant? Ah, well, nothing they understood. Harry admired the beautifully drawn picture before turning it.  
  
Ron crowded closer, wanting a glimpse of their scoundrel Potions Professor. Not that kind of glimpse you pervs! Of course, all good things light and loving come to an end and three pages later, Harry let out another yell. Severus was on his knees, mouth placed on Sirius's penis while the long haired boy curled his hands into Severus's hair.  
  
Ron and Harry shivered at the unexpected currents of desire coursing through their bodies. Harry went on to the next page, feeling a certain part of his anatomy fill with blood and expand. This was even more erotic! Severus was on his knees, butt thrust into the air with Sirius poised behind him. Ron was looking at the snarky potions master in a different light now. Was he really that big? Harry wanted to cry. He was becoming horny at the pornographic doujinshi involving his godfather!  
  
And then, a cough caused both boys to jump.  
  
~ *( ~~  
  
Yeah, I had to change the rating to R. -_- I wonder why. :P The sexual scenes won't get worse than that unless I get requests. The NC17 ones I'll place in my yahoo group which you can access by way of this webpage   
  
Sadisuto Yariman: Sadist Sluts (methinks, lol. My dictionary is only good for that, so word order is probably wrong)  
  
Thanks for reviewing  
  
Next chapter: Find out who was coughing and what trouble that brings. Will the EVIL YAOI GIRLS be defeated?! (hah, NEVER! We will survive!) 


	3. Severus's repressed desires for Sirius!

Title: Harry Potter and the Yaoi Doujinshi  
  
dis: not mine  
  
warnings: male x male, sexual innuendo, crude lanuage, and suggestive dialogue. ((sounds like a porn flick. lol)  
  
Chapter 3  
  
"Mr.Potter, Mr.Weasley," Snape's silken voice interrupted their doujinshi viewing pleasure. Harry and Ron gulped audibly, feeling their dooms would be very, very soon. "Might I remind you that smut magazines are not allowed in this school. 40 points for your inability to adhere to the rules." Snape grabbed the doujinshi, not bothering to look at the drawings.  
  
"NO!" Harry cried but it was too late. Snape was already leaving. Harry buried his head into his hands. "Oh Merlin! He's going to look at it later and end up killing us! He'll think we're a bunch of perverts! OH MY GOD! This is not happening to me! I DO NOT FANCY BOYS!"  
  
The ENTIRE Great Hall went silent. Most students were shocked, a few had pleased expressions on their faces. (Like that of the gay boys who want Harry's magic wand. Wink.) Ron turned bright red and averted his attention from the oggled Harry. Finally, Hermione rose to her feet and drew her wand. "Oh quit staring you bunch of stupid prats!"  
  
Everyone knew better than to tangle with Hermione so, breakfast resumed with lots of gossip. Draco was nudged in his ribs by Blaise, the boy with a perverted, giddy grin highlighting his aquiline features. Draco shoved him aside roughly. "Honestly, can't you do more than lust over that ugly fool?"  
  
Blaise snorted. "That wasn't what you were saying last night." Draco's eyes widened in alarm. "I quote you on this. Oh Harry, suck it harder. Make use of that delicious mouth and swallow me-" Draco clamped his hands on Blaise's mouth, the boy having earned giggling fits from those closest.  
  
"Do. Not. Repeat. That." Draco gritted through clenched teeth. It wasn't his fault that Potter had become attractive or that his subconcious mind wanted to strap Potter to his bed and then have his wicked way with him. Draco groaned, feeling his prick make it's arousal known at the vivid imagery his mind procured. A naked Harry on his bed spread-eagled or better yet, a naked Harry with his pert arse thrusted into the air while bracing himself on his arms. "Um...I have go to worship Salazzar!" Draco made a hasty retreat from the Great Hall for once thanking that his robes were loose.  
  
~ ~  
  
Severus Snape prided himself on being a man of extreme will-power and strength. A man with a quick wit and cool temper. A man that could reasonably tolerate that loathesome brute, Sirius Black. Sirius was teaching Care of Magical Creatures in place of Hagrid who was sharing living quarters-Severus shuddered with the visions-with Madame Maxine. Severus had been furious with the arrival of the insanely gorgeous man. Albus knew he couldn't stand the idiot despite how much Severus wanted to bend him over his desk and fuck him senseless. Truthfully, Severus had yearned for Sirius since he was eleven and in his first year at Hogwart's. As the son of a Death Eater, he was permitted to grow up very quickly and by that age, he knew all about his bodies desires and cravings for the same gender. He'd even expiremented with Lucius and decided that the pleasures other boys could give him were decidedly better than anything a woman could hope to offer.  
  
Severus did not pride himself on being a die-hard romantic, which he NEVER admitted even under the pain of torture he wouldn't break and confess that he longed for someone to make him breakfast-in-bed, for someone to spoil him rotten with chocolate and flowers and maybe even a teddy bear. No one had ever done that for him.  
  
Remus Lupin had been Severus's significant other for a year before Sirius grew jealous and led Severus to the Shrieking Shack where it was discovered that Remus-timid, quiet, intelligent Remus-was in fact a werewolf capable of tearing him limb from limb with his fangs and claws. That had seriously put a damper on Severus's love life and had made him go to the Dark Lord.  
  
However, there is a thin line between love and lust, which he had discovered upon seventh year. Sirius had been the sex god of every girl and boy's fantasy. Long dark hair, vivid blue eyes, tall and lean body... Yes, Severus had had many a wet dreams concerning Sirius Black. He still did, especially when he saw Sirius three years ago. Though thin, gaunt, emanciated, dirty, Sirius was just as wanton and desireable as he had been in his youth.  
  
Severus sighed, feeling his nether regions harden at the prospect of laying Sirius Black on his bed and mounting him like the bitch he was born to be. Severus glanced at the magazine that Potter and Weasley had been engrossed in. Just what was the big fuss about a bunch of naked sluts? Most didn't even have pretty faces.  
  
He was just about to look when a knock on his door stopped him. "Who is it?" he snapped. God, if it was Draco, he would be forced to throw the boy out. Lately Draco had come bugging him with his social and sexual problems. Honestly, as if he wanted to curtail to the little fruit.  
  
"It's Remus."  
  
"Come in." Severus admired the way the lighting of his chambers seemed to make Remus glow. His prematurely greying dark ashen hair haloed and those liquid honey pools were sparkling with a humour and warmth that had Severus's heart aching in his chest. What it would be like to grasp that slender and lithe body to his own and meld them into one entity. "Yes?"  
  
"I saw what you did. You know very well that those sorts of magazines aren't illegal in this school. Albus even said himself that he was fine with them so long as they weren't seen in class or causing disruptions among the students."  
  
"You call Weasely and Potter salivating not attention gaining?" Severus ceased the images of their school day explorations of each other. Hesitant hands gliding along smooth flesh and sinewous muscle. Mouths meshing, lips wrapping around-  
  
"Severus. It was uncalled for. You need to give that magazine back at once."  
  
Severus avoided looking at Remus. If the mere ~appearance~ of the man caused his nerves to drip with want and need than making eye contact was a bad thing. "Why should I Lupin? So that he and his group of friends can have wank fests in their dormitories?"  
  
Remus had the deceny to blush at Severus's crude yet logical assumption. "Now really Sev-"  
  
"I wish you wouldnt call me that."  
  
For a brief second Severus regretted snapping at the werewolf as pain flitted across Remus's beautiful face. "Oh...Alright, Seveus. I had thought that you might have put aside age old grudges."  
  
"Grudges? You nearly killed me."  
  
"I didnt know! I wasn't in control of my body, you know what happens to me. I wish you would accept my apology... and let bygones be bygones." Remus placed a hand on Severus's shoulder, the startled Potions Master leaning against the desk. "I miss us being friends." It was then, that the back cover of the doujinshi caught his attention. "Huh...?"  
  
"What is it Lupin?" Severus questioned as Remus withdrew his touch and stared, boggle eyed at the doujinshi. Severus looked too and nearly shit himself. "What the hell kind of joke is that...??"  
  
Remus shook his head. "Well...apparently some, might I say, extremely gifted artist took a liking to you and...Oh my god. That's Sirius!" Remus squeaked, pointing at the man that had Severus in his lap. It was unmistakebly him. Everything about Sirius from the wild hair and cheeky grin.  
  
"Who in the hell would get off on this?!! OPEN IT!" Severus barked as Remus hurried to the middle pages of the crease. "WHAT THE FUCK?!" Severus howled for on that very page was Severus lowering himself on Sirius's penis.  
  
Remus's blush was spreading across his entire body. "You do have to admit, it is certainly drawn in proportion." ((I'm sure you all know what exactly that means. Wink. ))  
  
"Never mention that again in my prescence. I would NEVER have sex with Black and if by some curse we did, I wouldn't be the uke! That bastard would bottom me." Severus just didn't want to admit that he was finding it very arousing, even if it was just a drawing.  
  
Remus quickly closed it. Oh yes, he'd imagined Sirius and Severus together before. It was one of his common wet dreams, still, even. Remus bit his tongue from mentioning that Severus was the more feminine of the two and he would most likely bottom. "I think we should discuss this with Harry and Ron."  
  
"You're damn right we are. Those little perverts..." Severus bustled from the room with flurry, black robes billowing behind him and nearly catching Remus in the eye with a corner. "I'm going to take a million points from them and hex them to oblivion."  
  
"You can't do that!" Remus protested, following him.  
  
"They're reading magazines that involve their teachers. I wouldn't be surprised if you weren't featured in one of them," Severus sneered. "Maybe you and Lucius. Or you and James. Or better yet, how about you and Potter?"  
  
"Calm down Severus. Facing them with this fury won't solve anything. Perhaps you should target your anger at the person responsible for drawing this."  
  
"And who the flying fuck is it?"  
  
Remus squinted at the name, written in Japanese. "I can read Kanji and it says Shouga?" Remus frowned. "That means ginger."  
  
"Big help Lupin. In case you didnt know, there are no students in this school by the name of Ginger."  
  
"Stop being such a prat."  
  
"Shut up Lupin!!"  
  
Remus did, glaring at the raging man beside him. He had to practically jog to keep up with Severus's long strides. He frowned. Just who the hell was Ginger? A real name, code name, alias? They had to be close to someone from the past to have drawn Severus and Sirius so well. But who?  
  
~ ~~  
  
::cue batman theme song::  
  
Will they figure out who Ginger is? Will Harry and Ron meet their demises at the hands of an irate Potions Master? And what of the new doujinshi?! Find out next time on the Yaoi Doujinshi!!!!  
  
::cue batman theme song::  
  
Holy Tissue, Batman! Review! :)  
  
Thanks to: animekid (there are yaoi doujinshi. real ones. I actually own... ::sweatdrop:: a stack. lol) BlueDream1 (I'm glad it was that funny! lol. Dont worry, Draco will be seeeing a doujin soon) Ko-chan to Ya-chan (hee hee, thanks! Poor Ron and Harry, eh? You know you enjoy seeing them tortured just as much as I do.) Demile ( didnt hurt yourself rolling on the floor, didja? hee hee, thanks!) Red-Kasei (ha, like the name! lol. I am pervy arent I? ::hentai grin:: Harry/Ron is weird and I dont like it but I do like torturing Ron. I think it'll be Harry/Draco and no Ron/H/D. ^^ That savvy? You've read my Truhan stories?! LOL! wow. Well, some dont have lemons. I have 92 stories and only about 10 have lemons in them. lol. Thanks!) beautifulelf ( You like Yaoi doujin ;-) hee hee. Lets see. I have some sites you can go to. I'll put them at the very end of this little thingie. Thanks!) Julz, Nameless (H/D will be the ending couple) Lottalita (that names reminds me of Lolita. lol. Thanks for the good luck wishing. :) helped.) Fyreda (hey!! ^_^ glad you liked this! it was overboard and it will get worse but the yaoi scenes wont get much worse than these. Lemons will be on my yugiohyaoigwdbz group and webpage. There are yaoi which is the harder version that has the graphic lemons and shonen ai which is fluffy. go to the yaoihell.com. lol. you'll find... alot....some good, some bad...No Yugioh yaoi though. i was shocked. :P ) tobun (lol, glad i could be of service to giveing you some limey goodness. Well, since you like Sev/Siri, I'll have a lemon. lol Thanks!) crackqueen (ron's not gay. just a suppressed heterosexual) KC26 (THANKS! there will be worse ones!!) faera (hee hee, thanks so much!))  
  
links to doujinshi buying (since i dont know how to do html...just remember to put www in front of the linkies. okay? lol)  
  
jpqueen.com (TONS of doujinshi. :D)  
  
jpop.com (mostly hardcore)  
  
interq.or.jp/tokyo/antique/harry.html ( Harry Potter yaoi, some arent though)  
  
Those are the only ones I can think of at the moment. If you ever need more and dont want to look, i have a million links, Just email me. :-)  
  
~ ~~ 


	4. I'm not in Denial!

Title: Harry Potter and the Yaoi Doujinshi!

Disclaimers: Gods, if it was mine…everyone would be gay so it's not. Wah. ;-(

Warnings: Language, suggestive dialogue, nudity, boinking, boy on boy action, corruption of the Harry Potter world. I think that's it. Oh and references to Stewie from Family Guy and Lindsay Lohan aren't mine either. 

Notes: After a very long hiatus, my creativity blossomed again. Enjoy. Read and Review for me! Muah, Kisses!!!

Chapter Four

Draco Malfoy was the king of perfection. His hair had to be arranged in just the right amount of layers to frame his devilishly handsome face. Sometimes he would muss it on purpose for sexy bedroom hair and there a few times he would tie it with a black ribbon (the girls went absolutely insane about it.) He spent a few hours a day conditioning his body to the point of absolute beauty and drool worthiness. And then he'd dress himself and completely hide all his efforts to be an idol. Ah, such was the tragedy of not being allowed to roam the school naked.

But he was most definitely not gay and he would tell you quite fervently that he wasn't. Even if he was screeching and waving his finger at you the entire time you were receiving your lecture on how the Great Draco Malfoy couldn't possibly be a fairy. You were meant to believe him without question or without any snide remarks or any smirking. But you knew and deep down everyone else knew. Everyone but Draco. He was perhaps the only student at Hogwarts that didn't believe Draco Malfoy was queer which was understandable. He was in denial.

"Draco, dear, are you listening to me?"

Draco raised his lovely blue-gray eyes from his dinner to see Pansy fluttering her lashes at him. Draco found that it made her even uglier and his appetite was clearly lost. How many times would he have to reject her before she realized that there wasn't a chance in Hell for her? "Yes? Can I help you?" he asked flatly.

"Well, Potter's been looking at you all night. Don't you think you should tell him to stop?"

Draco glanced towards the Gryffindor table only to meet Potter's green eyes. A blush stained the bespectacled boy's cheeks as he hastily averted his gaze from the Slytherin. That was certainly…disturbing. "I think I'd rather _not_. Well, now that my meal's been destroyed, I'm going to drown myself in the Prefect's bathroom."

Without further adieu, Draco excused himself from the Slytherin table and headed towards the Slytherin Tower. It was one of the reasons he enjoyed being a Prefect. The huge bathroom that he could just soak in for hours and the bubbles _never_ disappeared. It was one of his biggest, secret splurges. If _anyone_ knew he preened like a girl, well, he'd never live it down. Draco hastily undressed but as he was folding his clothes neatly on one of the chairs (why on earth there are_ chairs _in a bathroom, we may never know) he noticed a magazine on the floor.

Curious, Draco retrieved it. One pale brow rose at the cover. It was a beautiful picture of him with amazing detail and brilliant use of color. Had one of his fan girls designed as a gift to him and left it here for him to discover? How thoughtful! Draco opened the doujinshi to a random page. "What the deuce?!" On full display for the world to see was Draco, laying spread eagled on a _Gryffindor_ bed?! "Holy fuck! What the hell is this?!"

It wasn't the fact that someone had drawn Draco in a sexual, pin-up pose but that he was lying on _Gryffindor sheets_. The burgundy and gold was enough to make him nauseous. Who in their sane mind would have Draco anywhere near Gryffindor? It was preposterous and evil! Downright dirty and Draco wanted it rectified. At least they'd drawn him to proportion. That made it a little less blasphemous.

He turned it to the next page. He was speaking to someone in a language that Draco couldn't decipher. Boring. He went onwards and nearly dropped the doujinshi in the massive tub. Was that…Harry Potter? It must have been. The glasses, the messy hair, the compact body with firm muscles, and…was his cock actually _that_ big? "Okay, this is sick. I'm not gay," Draco muttered, finding it difficult _not_ to turn the page. The next page was more graphic with Draco on his knees, mouth wrapped around the other boy's erection. "This is just stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid!" Draco hissed, unable to wrench his eyes from the provocative drawings.

He skipped through the book and opened it to a random page. Draco's mouth opened but only a faint squeak emerged. There were several drawings of Harry pounding into him and was that cum leaking from the tip of his penis? Draco hastily threw the book down. He didn't need to see anymore to know where it would end. He'd masturbated enough. He knew what his own semen looked like. Draco breathed a deep breath to calm his erratic pulse. It was then he noticed that he was rock hard. He wasn't gay. Sex in general turned him on. It wasn't because he enjoyed seeing him being screwed like a rabbit by Harry Potter or that he was so incredibly narcissistic that he liked watching himself being fucked. No. It was impossible. He was Draco Malfoy; the gayest straight boy at Hogwarts.

….

Harry watched Draco leave the Great Hall. His cheek burned with embarrassment. He hadn't _meant _to watch Draco but after seeing those magazines with himself and Draco doing more then glaring at each other and hurling insults, he was starting to see him in another light. Harry hadn't considered himself to be gay or bisexual for that matter. He'd never really experimented with either gender to know for sure his orientation. All he knew was that he'd been turned on to the point he felt he would explode if he didn't have his needs met soon. Merlin, even the one with his godfather and Snape had done the trick for him.

"…What do we do about this?"

Harry turned to see Ron with the same flushed face. Apparently he wasn't the only one with perverted thoughts racing through his head. Well, as much as he could think with the blood going to another region of his anatomy. "I don't know. What _can_ we do? Go up to him and say, 'Hey, I saw this book that had us in it and I was wondering if you might fancy a go at trying it.' I don't think so."

"I didn't mean that. I'm not gay. I like girls."

"I think they call that being bisexual, Ron. Besides, you can't deny you didn't like it. I saw the proof for myself," Harry said, pointedly glancing at the fly of Ron's trousers. "You enjoyed it."

"Well so did you."

"No shit," Harry rolled his eyes. Would Ron's nickname be Fire Crotch? Harry had to stifle a snicker at that. "I think we just wait this out and see what happens. This might be just a phase we're going through. I mean, we're teenagers. We think about sex all the time. Every boy at one point in time must've gone through this."

"How can you be so flippant about this? Someone's getting their jollies off of drawing us having sex with each other and other people. Even our teachers aren't spared from it. Doesn't that disturb you at all?"

"Not really."

"That's typical you. I'm not okay with this. You shouldn't be either," Ron said, leaving the table.

Harry shrugged, not exactly caring at that moment. He had more pressing matters on his mind; like his ludicrous attraction to one of his worst sworn enemies. He still adored girls but now that he'd been subjected to the other side…he couldn't deny that he was horny as hell when he thought about Draco Malfoy with a leather whip and a black, feather boa draped around his shoulders.

…

Hmm. This is short but I wasn't even sure if anyone was still interested in reading this!! Please Read and Review and let me know what you think about it. Is it worth continuing? Oh and this is definitely AU since HBP wasn't out when I first started writing.

Peace, Love, and Doughnuts!!

_Shiny Ryuichi Sakuma_


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